Two years ago on Memorial Day weekend, I had an ischemic stroke from brainstem compression due to instability at my craniocervical junction. My dad flew to my house, helped me finish one last job for a client, and then flew me and Spritz up to Massachusetts for what was to become the most challenging 6 months of my health, culminating in surgery to remove the base of my spinal cord and alleviate extremely high intracranial pressure. My dad was there for me through all the difficulties of that time and kept a smile on my face on even the hardest of days. 4 months after surgery I was finally back on my feet, and the day before I was to fly home, my dad went into kidney failure. His cancer had metastasized to his whole spine and he was given weeks to months to live. Last year on Memorial Day weekend he took his last breaths, and I was able to be there right by his side.

We had celebrated his 80th birthday 3 weeks before that, and my mom had the idea to make him a birthday cake that looked like his rock yard and asphalt plant.

I covered the whole cake with coarse brown sugar to look like sand, and when we carried it out to my dad, singing “Happy Birthday” followed by “May the Good Lord Bless You” my dad started to cry and so did every single one of us, his whole family gathered around him. And my dad said…”what a God, that he would take care of me like this, even in my last days. He knows every hair on my head, and the number of each grain of sand.” And then he went on to talk about an analogy of death that had always stuck with him, that it was going to be like getting onto a boat in the fog, waving goodbye to all those you love on one shore, then going into the thick fog and emerging on the other shore with all those you’d loved who had gone before you waving hello, welcoming you with open arms. I know without a doubt that when my daddy left this earth a year ago, he was greeted by the loving embrace of his Heavenly Father…the one who created him, called him by name, and had prepared his eternal home, because my dad has trusted in Him as Lord of his life.

When I finally returned home last June, in many ways it felt like I was picking up pieces of a broken life. But God had given me a priceless gift…and that was in having had that year with my dad. A year that was both the most difficult year of my life and the biggest blessing. And so as I began again…navigating next steps with my health, big career decisions and seeking Gods will over my next…the fact that God is faithful, God is good, God is love, God does restore, God does redeem, and God does have a plan…was unwavering in my mind. And that gave me the confidence to keep stepping out in faith. This year started with my becoming co-owner of an integrative health clinic in St. Pete where I’ll get to use what I’ve learned through my own heath struggles to help others and spread a message of hope. In March I had fusion at C5-6 and while I still have a lot of pain and may need more fusions in the future, that surgery has helped tremendously. And just last weekend, my best friend and I catered a gala for 150 people out in LA – the largest event either of us have ever done on our own as private chefs. Just writing this I am in awe…in awe at how far I have come, in awe at the strength God gives even at our weakest, in awe at how awesome is our God! No matter how broken your life may feel right now, know that God promises beauty out of ashes. I am living proof!!

This weekend is extremely bittersweet as I miss my dad tremendously, yet I know that he’s in perfection, with our awe-inspiring God. And my Dad would be the first one to praise God with me for the wonderful things He has done!!!

“Not a word You speak is ever wasted

Not a promise You have left unkept

You are faithful to me through the ages

Jesus, my Emmanuel

Not a single taste has disappointed

Not a glimpse of You has fallen short

You go far beyond my expectations

Jesus, Jesus, always more

What a privilege, what an honor

Just to dwell within Your house

In every season, in every hour

You’re faithful then, You’ll be faithful now

Years and years of goodness go before me

Miles and miles of mercy close behind

In every battle and in every blessing

Jesus, You’ve been on my side

Yes, You have

So what a privilege, what an honor

Just to dwell within Your house

In every season, in every hour

You’re faithful then, You’ll be faithful now

Look around, where you’ve come from

Look around, where you are now

Look around, lift your head up

Anything is possible”

“Look Around” Housefires