Discharged from the hospital 2 weeks ago today after skull base to C2 fusion and rocked a yoga flow! Yesterday the pain was almost unbearable, as was an unrelenting headache, fatigue and foggy brain. I rested a lot, prayed a lot, took a long hot shower and curled up with heat packs. Went to the grocery store which felt like a monumental task, cooked a simple, nourishing dinner which I struggled to eat because swallowing is still so difficult, and got to bed early, anticipating many more days like this ahead.

When my neurosurgeon took my sutures out on Tuesday, he told me to expect a rocky several months of headaches, pain, dizziness, vertigo, brain fog & fatigue. The same symptoms I’ve lived with every day for the past 5 years – but now there as my body heals and adjusts to a new norm of an atlas & axis that no longer rotate, but also no longer sublux – there now as symptoms of healing rather than of destruction. He also cleared me to do yoga after I went through poses with him in detail making sure they were not harmful in any way (yes, I did yoga in my neurosurgeons office!)

Today I woke up feeing so much better! Less pain, no headache, more energy and a clear mind. I spent a long time reflecting on where I’ve been – this health journey of mine that has seemed endless, but Gods persisting faithfulness through every season, and my hope for better days ahead. And then I pulled myself up off the couch and got on my mat, streaming a Friday flow.

Every day we have a choice – we can let yesterdays struggles, limitations and pain define us and determine the actions we take, or we can choose to start anew, noticing the way our body is speaking to us and what it’s asking for, listening to the thoughts swirling in our mind and what needs to be set free or reigned in. We can choose to focus on the good, focus not on our limitations but on what we CAN do.

Doing yoga felt weird, uncomfortable, amazing and right all at the same time. My muscles are weak and tight and my neck doesn’t turn anymore. My “flow” was more like a “flop” from pose to pose. Asanas that once came easily felt strained and difficult. But at the same time there was so much I could still do and there is so much growth I can work towards. Limitations will always be there – on my mat and in my day to day life. But I’m choosing to embrace each day for what it holds, knowing God will give me the strength I need for THAT day, knowing full well there will be many days when the hardest choice I make is to rest, and that does not make me worth any less…in fact that IS the power move.

“One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:12-14 AMP

Trying to enjoy savasana with Spritz on the loose!